Today she faced her future. It was time to turn her back on her past. The idea was strange, but it was her reality.
The past was supposed to be a place filled with wonderful things, happy times, and smiles. For Terri, it had been filled with long tearful nights that left her with puffy eyes and disappointment.
The past made her tired. It was the reason that the light left her eyes and it was the reason the lines appeared on her forehead.
As Terri considered her future, she was forced to face the past decisions that caused her so much pain. Was it trusting the wrong type of man, expecting people to be something they weren’t or was it the horrible sting of her childhood?
A solid year of counseling taught her that the bulk of her pain was caused by her unreal expectations of others. It was wrong to expect someone to love you. Dating did not mean marriage even if that’s what he said. Words were nothing compared to action. What good did it do to tell someone you loved them if it was followed by a slap to the face or an assassination of the spirit?
It had been wrong of her to assume that everyone that called themselves a mother, actually knew how to be one. It was wrong for her to assume that family traditions should automatically be continued. Everyone has the power of choice and she had to learn she could not dictate the choices of others; even if she was right. Being related to someone didn’t necessarily mean you were family.
Those were the mistakes of yesterday. Now Terri realized, there was only – Today and Forever.
Today she would forgive those who hurt her. She would forgive those who’d used her. She would forgive those who abused her, but most importantly – she would forgive herself.
As she rolled over and looked into the smiling face of her new husband and soul mate – she realized that all of the lessons weren’t for naught. The past hurt and it was okay, but today was bright and full of promise and if she had to travel this painful road every morning to find love and acceptance in the new sunrise, – SHE WOULD.
The past was gone and she couldn’t change it, but making breakfast every morning with Shawn helped her foster the traditions they would continue with their little ones. The love between the two of them would teach them how to shower love upon their children. The past didn’t matter anymore.
There was only today and their forever.