As women, we are all guilty of it, whether or not we choose to admit it – we have all been jealous of another woman at some point. It could have been because of her shape, hair, job, or family life; but to pretend that we haven’t done so would be to lie to ourselves. Lori Champion tackles the subject and answers the tough question, “Why are women so jealous of each other?”
In our world, especially in the western culture, women are given a checklist of requirements from birth. For example, a woman has to be attractive, intelligent, and a good cook. She has to juggle motherhood and career without hiccup, have a good paying job, be independent, highly educated, keep her hair done, have well behaved kids, and a husband, be sexy in the bedroom, be a man in absence of one, look good at all costs, and most importantly – she can’t fail.
With a checklist this long, it should be hard to come up for air, much less worry about what another woman is doing, but still, the green eyed monster exists. Women have always pondered this question, but hardly ever from the perspective of having themselves be the jealous one. Nonetheless, we’ve all felt the urge and wondered how a certain woman may have acquired her status. The problem is that we never admit to feeling this way. While it may be easier to think we are exempt from this emotion, it is simply not true.
I can go on and on about all the things I’ve heard in my lifetime that were passed down to me from my mother, grandmother, girlfriends, and the media – and I’m sure you can do the same. However, we must acknowledge the way we are affected by those stereotypes and be real with ourselves.
We must create personal goals that allow us to be true to the woman in the mirror, otherwise they could lead us to build our esteem and value based on whether or not we have the items or have accomplished the tasks on the daunting checklist of possibilities passed to us. Feeling that we don’t measure up can cause the feeling of inferiority to surface. For instance, it is easy to see other women who have a better job and feel that theyare in some way better.
However, we never consider the source of this feeling. Could it be that we’ve been told directly and/or indirectly, that we have to attain a certain position in life to be accepted, loved, and feel good about ourselves? If we haven’t considered this thought, we should.
The world “favors” the beautiful, the smart, the rich and the talented, right? Is this why we sometimes become jealous when another woman seems to have something we don’t, but never recognize that jealousy is really more about us than the other person? The reality is that no one woman has it all, never has, and never will. This hoax has been played on us for far too long.
We have to know who we are beyond the superficial standards driven to keep us enslaved physically and mentally, for these are the same standards that have perpetuated the hate and jealousy we’ve shown one another. Ultimately, we must root and ground ourselves in something deeper and far more meaningful. For God saw all that he had made and it was very good (Genesis 1:31).
. . . and that includes women. There is no need to be jealous for God has esteemed us all as good and given us worth as women, however . . .
It is up to us to recognize it!